To Have And Not To Hold
by Matrix14
Summary: SG-1 are escpaing from a planet while under heavy fire from the Goa'uld when one of them goes down.... The beginning of a story about Jack and Daniel discovering their feelings. This WILL BE SLASH. J/D. Please r/r!
1. Default Chapter

To Have And Not To Hold  
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"Run!" Jack yelled at Daniel's back.   
  
They were sprinting towards the gate, under heavy fire from the Goa'uld. Exactly which Goa'uld, they weren't quite   
sure, but as long as it had a snake in it's head, that was good enough for Jack.  
  
Sam was in front, followed by Teal'c, then Daniel, and lastly Jack.  
  
The planet was bare and dusty, and Jack now wished for the trees that he had at first been relieved weren't there.   
At least trees would provide some kind of cover for them. But instead, they were running with nothing to protect  
them from the firing, very conspicuous on the flat, barren land.   
  
The dust rose up and made it difficult for Jack to see where he was going. All he knew was that they had to keep  
running.  
  
A blast from a staff weapon flew past Jack's ear, and he knew it was only a matter of time before one of them   
was hit. He was actually suprised they'd gotten this far. The situation was far to close for his liking.  
  
"Carter! Dial!" He shouted to Sam, who was nearing the DHD, which Jack could just make out through the haze   
of dust.  
  
If Sam replied, Jack didn't hear her, but he saw her run towards the DHD.  
  
Jack truned to see what was behind them and was faced with what looked about half the entire Goa'uld   
population of the universe.  
  
Shit! He thought.  
  
The chevrons on the gate began to glow as Sam dialled the coordinates for Earth. Jack willed the gate to go   
faster, but he knew there was time for them to get through.  
  
From in front of him, there came a small cry and Daniel tripped, falling to the ground.  
  
"Daniel!" Jack yelled.  
  
He ran to his friend and pulled him up, crouching low to avoid the shots.  
  
"Come on, Daniel!" He shouted in Daniel's ear above the noise of the battle.  
  
He draped Daniel's arm around his shoulder and helped him limp with painful slowness towards the gate.  
  
Another staff weapon blast whizzed past, and Jack knew it was close. Plumes of dust rose, indicating where the   
blasts hit the ground.  
  
The event horizon rushed forward and settled back, giving off an eerie glow in the dust. Sam started towards it  
then turned back to look for the others.  
  
"Carter, go!" Jack yelled at her.  
  
She seemed to consider what he had said for a moment, looking in anguish at Jack with Daniel's arm draped   
round his shoulders. Finally, she nodded shortly and disappeared through the shimmering water-like surface.  
  
Teal'c followed soon after Sam, half running through the event horizon to the other side.  
  
"Can you run?" Jack asked Daniel.  
  
"Yes. I'm fine!" Daniel replied.  
  
"Good. Go." Jack said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go, I'll cover you." Jack said, knowing that if they both tried to get through at the same time, they'd be hit. He   
could always run through at the last minute, but that wasn't a chance he wanted Daniel to take.  
  
Daniel hesitated and turned to Jack.  
  
"But, Jack -"  
  
"Go!"  
  
Daniel paused, regarding Jack's face for a second, then nodded, turning and stumbling forward towards the   
gate.  
  
Jack turned to face the Goa'uld, crouching low to the ground to go behind the DHD. As he shuffled towards the  
device, he didn't see the shot that hit him.  
  
His leg collapsed and he fell to the ground, wordlessly clutching his leg in agony, his blood soaking into the   
ground.  
  
"Daniel!" He gasped.  
  
Daniel reached the event horizon, head bowed as if to avoid the blasts, and turned quickly to glance behind him.  
  
"Jack!" He cried, seeing him lying on the ground, surrounded by blood.  
  
His head told him to go through the gate and get the hell out, but his heart told him to go back for Jack. As usual,   
he followed his heart.  
  
He ran back down the steps to the DHD, hiding behind it and dragging Jack with him to relative safety.  
  
"Jack!" He repeated.  
  
Jack opened his eyes painfully and saw Daniel's indigo one's looking desperately back at him.  
  
"No, Danny." He groaned. Daniel had come back to save him. Now they'd both die. Jack didn't want Daniel to   
die.  
  
A twinge of pain in his leg caused him to close his eyes. He felt himself slipping away into darkness, and   
although he fought it, it dragged him down into a pitch black whirlpool.  
  
Daniel didn't even think about his next action, it just came naturally. He scooped Jack's body up in his arms and   
stood up, bending over him to protect him from the blasts. He ran.  
  
He ran as fast as he could up the steps of the gate and flung himself, still cradling Jack, through.  
  
  
They landed hard on the ramp with a sickening thud and rolled down it as a blast came through and whizzed   
over their heads. Daniel heard Sam shout 'Close the iris!' and sat up slowly, taking a moment to get his bearings.  
  
His eyes focused on Jack's body lying a few feet away from him as the trinium iris slid across the event horizon.  
He was lying on his front, face down on the metal, and he wasn't moving.  
  
Daniel crawled over on his hands and knees, not feeling that he could stand up.  
  
"Jack." He whispered hoarsley.  
  
He turned him over onto his front so that his head was on Daniel's knees. There was a large gash in his forehead  
where he had struck the ramp, and blood still flowed from his leg.  
  
Daniel didn't hear the call for the medical team, or Janet's footsteps behind him until he touched his shoulder   
gently.  
  
He jumped slightly, looking around. He realised that they had to take Jack to the infirmary and silently lifted him in  
his arms and placed him on the trolley.  
  
He watched as Jack was wheeled away from himand felt his knees buckle as the strain finally took it's toll on him.  
His legs collapsed from under him. He didn't feel his head hit the ramp.  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued......  
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Hey, do as the box says and review! (pwetty pwease?)  
  



	2. To Look But Not To See

To Have And Not To Hold: Chapter 2; To Look But Not To See  
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Janet rushed along with the trolley with Jack lying on it as he was rushed into the infirmary.  
  
"Okay, Get a line in!" She called to the people around her.  
  
There was a flurry of activity. The nurses ran around, carrying out Janet's orders as she hooked him up to the   
monitoring equipment.  
  
"BP 120 over 80!" One of the nurses called.  
  
"He's lost a lot of blood." Janet told another nurse. "Go tell Hammond to phone for two of O-Neg."  
  
The nurse nodded curtly and left. The blood was kept on the higher levels of the complex in case of an emergency   
such as this. General Hammond had to ring and get the blood that was needed sent down.  
  
"BP dropping!" The nurses called, "He's in VF!"  
  
"Charge the paddles. 1000 joules!" Janet called back.   
  
Sam and Teal'c had helped bring in Daniel on another trolley and were standing watching the unfolding drama.  
Teal'c was unfamiliar with the medical jargon, but could pick up that what was happening wasn't good.  
  
"Perhaps we should wait outside, Major Carter." He said to Sam who was staring at Jack as the paddles were   
charged ready to shock him.  
  
"No, Teal'c. I'm staying here." Sam said.  
  
"Very well." Teal'c said in a voice void of emotion.  
  
The crash trolley was wheeled over and Janet held the paddles as they buzzed with the mounting levels of   
electricity.   
  
"Clear!" She shouted.   
  
Everyone around Jack took a step back and Janet pressed the paddles onto his chest. His body jumped and   
Sam looked away. Janet turned to check the screen again. The single green line was still flat.   
  
"Charging, 1000 joules!" She repeated. The paddles buzzed once more. "Clear!"  
  
Everyone stepped back once more.  
  
Janet placed the paddles on Jack's chest and he jumped once more.   
  
There was a pause then...  
  
"He's back!" The nurse by the screen called.  
  
The machine began beep once again and the green line showed a definite rhythm.  
  
"Normal synus rhythms." The nurse said.  
  
"Great." Janet breathed, then turned to look around as she secured Jack's oxygen mask. "Where's that blood?"  
She asked.  
  
"It's on its way." A nurse replied.  
  
Sam stood next to Teal'c watching Jack's chest rise and fall as he breathed once more. She held a trembling   
hand to her mouth and felt tears of relief at the corners of her eyes. She ignored them.  
  
Suddenly, the doors crashed open and a nurse ran in with a large box.  
  
"I've got the blood!" She called.  
  
"Good." Janet replied. "Get him hooked up."  
  
The nurse held the box and Janet took out a bag of blood. She checked the type was correct and then motioned   
for an IV stand to be brought nearer. She hooked the bag onto the stand.  
  
"Get him attatched, and stop the bleeding. I'll do Daniel." She told the nurses.  
  
The nurses nodded and returned to Jack.  
  
Janet peeled off her gloves and grabbed a new pair, pulling them on as she hurried over to Daniel.   
  
He was already attatched to the monitoring equipment and the machine beeped steadily. Janet checked his  
blood pressure and breathing. All fine.  
  
"Sam, Teal'c!" She called them over, noticing them standing by the door.  
  
They hurried over and she smiled at the reassuringly.  
  
"Daniel's fine." She told them, "He just passed out from all the excitement." She grinned. Trust Daniel. "His blood  
pressure's a little high, but that's to be expected. We'll keep him on pain killers. He should wake up in a couple  
of hours."   
  
Sam nodded and Teal'c looked on impassively.  
  
"What about Colonel O'Neill?" Sam asked.  
  
"He'll be fine." Janet said, her grin fading. "We've got him stablised, and once he gets that blood into him I'll have   
to put some stitches in the wound on his leg, but apart from that, he's great. It'll take him a long time to come   
round after a knock like that, but we'll keep him sedated anyway, so he doesn't wake up too suddenly."  
  
Sam smiled slightly, relieved.  
  
"Shall we return later, Dr. Fraiser?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Yes, go and take a shower and get some rest." Janet replied.  
  
"Actually," Sam said, "Can I stay?"  
  
"If you want to, but don't expect anything out of them for a few hours." Janet said.   
  
Teal'c bowed his head to Janet and walked out.  
  
"Thanks, Janet." Sam said.  
  
Janet nodded and left, laying a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder for a second before returning to Jack.  
  
Sam pulled up a chair and sat down next to Daniel, watching his chest rise and fall gently. She didn't even bother   
to talk to him, she just sat and waited.  
  
~~~  
  
Daniel slowly became aware of lying on his back with something sticking out of his arm.   
  
//Am I dead?//   
  
He opened his eyes very painfully and winced at the bright white light filling the room.  
  
He groaned as he tried to lift his head.  
  
"Daniel!" A voice cried.  
  
"Sam?" He groaned.  
  
He opened his eyes further and saw Sam frowning down at him.  
  
"Daniel, don't try to sit up." Sam told him.  
  
"Okay." Daniel frowned. "What happened?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Jack!" Daniel cried, sitting up and instantly regretting it. "Ouch!"  
  
"Don't worry, Daniel. You got back through the gate."  
  
"We did?"  
  
Sam nodded.  
  
"The Colonel's gonna be fine." She smiled.  
  
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He twisted his head to the side, rather painfully. He saw Jack lying on a bed with  
multiple tubes and wires sticking out of him, the heart monitor beeping and the breathing monitor rising and   
falling gently.  
  
He sighed again, only this time, sadly. At least they'd gotten out.   
  
Sam caught Daniel's gaze and placed her hand on his gently.   
  
"You did all you could, Daniel. You got him out." She said consolingly.  
  
"Then why is he lying there... like that?" Daniel asked.  
  
"You saved his life, Daniel." Sam persisted.  
  
"Hmm." Daniel muttered and turned his head away from Sam to watch Jack once more.  
  
Sam patted his hand lightly and stood up.  
  
"I have to go, Daniel." She said. "If you need anything..." She left the sentence open as Daniel ignored her.  
  
She sighed and walked out, pausing to look back at Daniel, and knew some of the guilt he would be feeling,   
seeing his teammate lying unconcious in a hospital bed.   
  
~~~  
  
A series of images flashed through Jack's mind behind his closed eyelids. A series of pictures which he knew  
meant a lot to him, but that he couldn't identify.  
  
Eyes. Blue eyes, gazing at him. Blue eyes filled with feeling as a voice said "I can't leave him like this. I won't".  
Blue eyes filled with pain as the voice said "You know that if you go, you might not be able to come back".  
Eyes angry in the midst of some argument. Eyes rebuking him as the voice rambled on in some strange   
explanation of something Jack could never quite grasp. Eyes warning him not to say anything stupid. Eyes  
accompanied by pain, fear and noise along with the voice which he recognised as his own gasping out a   
single word.  
  
~~~  
  
Jack groaned inwardly as he slowly regained his senses. He flexed his fingers experimentally, wondering why   
they didn't obey his brain's commands. A memory of the dream he had just experienced ran through his mind and   
a word flashed across his head.  
  
"Daniel." He mumbled, choking on the tube that was down his throat. He opened his eyes slowly, blinded   
by the bright lights. His fingers came back to life and he moved them, feeling them brush something warm  
which moved... another person's hand.  
  
"Jack." A voice echoed, as if someone had called him from the end of a long tunnel.  
  
His sight came back as the bright white faded and Jack found himself looking up at the two blue eyes from his  
dream, gazing worredly down at him, a frown creasing the other person's features.  
  
"Janet!" The person called.  
  
Footsteps hurried over to where Jack was lying and he felt the tube being removed from down his throat. He  
choked momentarily before a different voice spoke,  
  
"Don't worry, Colonel. You're in the SGC, you're gonna be fine."  
  
Why did those words seem familiar?  
  
"Jack, can you hear me?" The worried voice of the first person asked.  
  
"Daniel?" Jack rasped.  
  
The person whispered something which sounded like 'thank god'.  
  
"It's me, Jack." The person said louder. "It's me, Daniel."  
  
Jack tried to move, but the pain from the wire in his arm was too great.  
  
"Daniel." Jack repeated.  
  
The eyes were now tinged with happiness amongst the concern.  
  
"You're okay. We got out."  
  
Memories flooded back. Being attacked on P3X.... something, something, something.... Sam and Teal'c going  
through...  
  
"You got me out?" Jack asked.  
  
"Uh-huh." Daniel nodded.  
  
"Daniel, could you wait outside for a minute? I need to do some tests on Colonel O'Neill." Janet asked, walking   
back over towards them.  
  
Daniel nodded.  
  
"I'll be outside, Jack." Daniel said, casting a final worried glance at Jack before leaving.  
  
"Okay, Colonel, if you could follow my light..." Janet began, flicking on her torch in front of Jack's eyes.  
  
~~~  
  
Jack sat, propped up on pillows, bored witless, and still feeling slightly sleepy and VERY painful when Janet  
finally allowed Daniel, Sam and Teal'c in (she had claimed he needed rest).  
  
They all hurried over to him and stood around him, gazing down at him worredly.  
  
"How're you feeling, sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"Like someone just stuck a huge needle in me." Jack replied. "Oh wait," He glared over at Janet, "they did."  
  
"Glad to see you back to your old self, Colonel." Janet grinned along with Daniel and Sam.  
  
"It is good that you are feeling recovered, O'Neill." Teal'c said.  
  
"I don't feel recovered." Jack grumbled. "I feel bored." He tried to push himself into a better sitting position with  
his blood transfusion arm. "And painful. You know, if this is what dying feels like, it hurts like hell."  
  
"Now, Colonel," Janet said while checking Jack's charts, "You aren't going to die just yet." Her face grew more   
serious. "It was a close call, though. You owe it to Daniel for getting you out."  
  
Jack turned his head and looked at Daniel's worried face framed by his hair which he had allowed to grow long  
once more, his eyes no longer framed by his glasses which he had left on the table in his office.  
  
"Thanks Daniel. I owe you a drink." Jack grinned, ignoring the niggling worry in the back of his mind as he saw  
the angry bruise on Daniel's forehead.  
  
Daniel smiled lopsidedly.  
  
Jack held Daniel's gaze for a moment, trying to silently communicate his gratitude. Finally, he broke the look and  
spoke to the others,  
  
"Could I have a moment with Daniel?" He asked.  
  
"Sure." Sam smiled. As she left, she touched his shoulder gently. "Good to have you back, sir."  
  
"Thanks, Carter." Jack grinned.  
  
Teal'c and Janet followed Sam out and Daniel stood and looked at Jack silently.  
  
After a long pause, Jack spoke seriously,  
  
"At the risk of sounding dumb, I was wondering something."   
  
"What?" Daniel asked.  
  
Jack frowned thoughtfully.  
  
"I can't actually remember what happened. I mean, I know I got hit, but after that, I don't know..."   
  
"You don't remember anything?" Daniel asked.  
  
"No." Jack shook his head.  
  
"Well..." Daniel began, but was interupted by the doors crashing open and Janet rushing over to them.  
  
"Sorry, Daniel. I'll have to ask you to leave. SG-11 have just arrived back and I'm going to need all the space in  
here."  
  
Jack made a sarcastic noise.  
  
"SG-11? What a suprise! What have they done to themselves this time?" He asked.  
  
"Something about getting on the wrong side of a pool of quicksand." Janet allowed herself a brief grin.  
  
Jack clicked his tongue sarcastically again and Daniel looked apologetically at Janet.  
  
"I'll go." He said.   
  
"You're gonna leave me here with a needle-happy doctor and the team from hell?!" Jack called after him. "I   
thought I was meant to get better?!.... Fine! Leave!" He yelled at Daniel's retreating back.  
  
"Don't worry," Janet reassured Daniel, "I still have plenty of sedatives I can give him."   
  
Whether she was joking or not, Daniel wasn't sure.  
  
~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued.......  
(Okay, I know - not much of a cliffhanger, but believe me, it will get better.) 


End file.
